Trust

Song of the Day : Namie Amuro "Lovin' It"

How far would you go to gain someone's trust? I have a dilemma. I wish Reena was here so I can consult with her what to do. There is no one else in the office I can bring this issue to as I had promised to keep this a secret. So rather than tell the other 3 girls at work, I am writing this on my blog for EVERYONE to see! Here's the deal....Justin wanted me to be a "mentor" for this new OPENaid employee named Ya. She is an 18 year old "EX" Go-go dancer. So I was in the office the other day teaching her how to organize files, database and updating our website's content. Then she told me she freelances at the go-go bar when she is bored and when she wants to make extra cash. The reason we hired her, was because she has potential, the knowledge, the heart, the enthusiasm to learn new things and to get out of the go-go bars (so we thought!).

Her town is up North near the Laos border, so even though she wants to stay away from the scene, she can't help but go back because all her friends are go-go girls. I started to advise her that even though it isn't recommended for her to go to the go-go bars, we can't stop her because she is an adult and should know what's right or wrong. I then told her what I felt about the go-go bars and that she can remain friends with the girls but NOT freelance for extra cash. She assured me that she is only dancing and not sleeping with the Farang. Then she gave me a proposition. She said the only way she would take my advice or gain my trust, is if I go to the go-go bars and dance with her and her friends. I was like WHAATTTTTTT?!!!!!!! I said there is no way I am going to ever do that. She felt kind of insulted by what I said, as she felt that I was knocking her and her friends. So I kind of sugar coated my reason saying that I don't want to do it because I am shy. So she got all exited and said that we can drink whisky at her place before we go and that will help with my shyness.

So for the past 2 days I've been staying away from the office and working poolside or on the terrace overlooking the beach. I figured, since the big boss and the other 2 boys are in Burma I might as well take advantage of the "freedom". I also need to work on my tan as I feel like it's fading. I must keep my chocolate woman status! So anyways, I am eagerly awaiting Reena's return for some guidance. Perhaps the longer I stall, Ya would forget about her proposition. Or perhaps drop the proposition with Reena around or hopefully bug Reena to dance with her and her friends instead of me! I've actually been thinking about what she said, and I am wondering if I should do it or not. She said it would only be 1 song. I keep thinking about how my dad once said I shouldn't knock something unless I try it. But then I picture my mom's face and how mad she would be if I did do it. Then again, how will she ever know? If this one dance would ensure her to stop then it would be worth it right? 4 minutes of exploitation to end the lifelong exploitation of one go-go girl. To end? Or not to end?

On a happier, fluffier note, I just want to say that I feel happy to have finally met Luke. He is the Communications and Marketing Director at our Australia office. We've been working a lot together because we are re-vamping all marketing material for OPENaid. He is so smart and so good looking that I have problems focusing at the tasks at hand. Sometimes I think it was probably better if he stayed in Australia so I wouldn't have met him face to face. He came to Pattaya 2 weeks ago. When I first met him I thought he was just another pretty boy, but he's got a lot of passion, a big heart, really intelligent and really motivated to make a big difference in the world. No offence to anyone, but it's been a really longtime since I've had really good, intellectual conversations. I know it's probably hard for most of you to picture me talking serious about humanitarian issues, world history and politics but I just love it! I just haven't met anyone since my Uni years who is as keen and driven about those topics. (Sorry Siemen I am not talking about Helen of Troy!). I love being with Luke because he reminds me of how I used to be. I think for the past 5 years I've stored my brain in the attic, because I was under the impression that using my brain was geeky and not cool. That and the fact that clubbing, alcahol and bling got in the way of my focus.

Last Saturday, Ben, Mita, Luke and I went out for dinner and a few drinks to "unpack". We ended up drinking until 3am. It was the latest I've ever been out in Thailand! The later you stay out, the more you can see the nastiness that happens in Pattaya at night. We weren't even in the hardcore area of the sex scene! We saw a few nasty, drunk UFOs harrassing all Thai women walking down the street. Way after Mita left, one drunk UFO came up to our table and asked Luke if he had spent all his money on me, so that he can have me. He was so drunk, that I told Luke to just ignore the guy because things could get ugly at the bar. Luke was so bothered that he cussed the guy out and all the other UFOs at the bar. I thought there was going to be a bar brawl so I told Luke to stop, but Luke said he wanted them to challenge him. We learned to never challenge a bar owner, because he/she has the authority and power to do what they want. So we got kicked out because the bar owner was one of the nasty, drunk UFOs.

Anyways, there is a BIG Thai festival this Saturday and Ratanna and Ya said we all have to dress up in a traditional Thai gown and get our make-up done. The dresses are really insane and I am not sure if I am able to actually wear a Thai gown and Thai bling. It is however once a year, and my first experience and perhaps my last. So even though I don't want to, I'll do it. I guess the real reason I don't want to dress up, is because the shops are insane with all the last minute purchasers/renters and I HATE big crowds!