Brokedown Palace

Song of the Day : Keane "Crystal Ball"

When it comes to clothing or purchasing products, I ALWAYS go for the top brands (I guess it's the diva in me) because I know they are reliable and won't ever dissapoint me, but for some reason Reena was able to pursuade me into buying the cheap Thai hair mousse rather than the $10 can of L'Oreal mousse. All I have to say, is that the outcome was and is catastrophic. My poodle is now an obese poodle. I feel like I escaped a psych ward as curly hair in Thailand is not cool. No ONE has curly hair here. I have now hit the 3 major NO NOs here : 1) I have a poodle and not straight hair 2) I am voluptuous and everyone here is thin as a rail 3) I am dark and everyone strives to be white. I am running out of body lotion and I am debating wether I should just let my skin produce natural oil from sweat or cave in and buy lotion here. Every store we went to, even the International stores do not have normal lotion. They have all the North American brands here, yet ALL still have SKIN WHITENNING agents. Arghhhhhhh! Why can't people be dark and proud??? Some Thai women call me chocolate woman, and I make my sad face and say that back home it's beautiful. They say it's nice on me but they wouldn't ever want to be dark. Disssssssssss! Then they all touch my hair and say it's nice, so I reply back saying they should go to the hair salon and get a perm. Then they smile and laughingly say "Oh no I would never do that!" Disssssssssss! Whenever I meet new Thai people all is well until I sit down. I love how their smilling faces turned into concerned looks as they look down at my mid region, point and say "Ooooh CHELLEL! Your stomach....PAHM-PUOY! (fat)". Disssssssssss! I just smile now and say I LOVE THAI FOOD! To make things worse, I get the ocasional reply back asking wether or not I am pregnant. Then I say 'Noooooo, I know for sure I am not'. Then they insist saying "Are you sure?!". Geez can you dig the knife deeper?!!!! Then I tell them they should never ask if anyone is pregnant. That they should wait until it is mentioned because then the person would feel so hurt and sad if they aren't. Then they feel bad, and say, 'Oooooh it's nice. I want some! Remember what I said??? Don't trust 98% of the Thais??? Well I am slowly believing it more and more everyday! Sometimes I feel like replying back that if they want some PAHM-PUOY then they should eat more! But I know that there is a lot of poverty here and that maybe they really do want Pahm-puoy but they just simply can't eat enough.

Last Thursday Reena went to the Philippines because her grandmother is ill. I was going to go with her because we were both scared about her going alone and me being alone in Thailand. Then we realized that I've never been there before so it wouldn't be a very pleasant FIRST TIME experience. I am pretty sure y'all can agree that we all want our FIRST TIME to be memorable and enjoyable. I also didn't want to feel like I am imposing and to cause her family more stress by having to take care of me and feel like they have to "entertain" me. Also, I know for sure my mom would give me a BIG SWIFT kick in the arse if I go to the Philippines. It can be a dangerous country and my mom warned me so many times not to go alone (meaning without her or my dad). It's frustrating because there are many times and many opportunities where I am so close to the motherland and I could never go! I think my sister and I are the only Filipinos who've NEVER been to the Philippines! It's pretty sad!

With Reena gone, I thought I would be in hell with the OPENaid crew. I think all our togetherness is getting on all our nerves. I think the reason is because there is more workers and volunteers and not enough office space so everyone is easily agitated with one another. I think the heat may be a major factor in our madness. It's been hotter and hotter everyday. I can no longer arrive to work with a dry t-shirt. The other day, before Reena left I actually snapped in the office. I actually yelled at Wanna. She is the sweetest, kindest, funniest woman and she is like a mother to Reena and I. So I felt really bad. I yelled at her because she was in my face and all up in my grill about updating the web content. All I wanted was space to breathe, try to cool off and get some air circulating. My desk is in the corner of the office, and she was blocking the fan and .... she smelt. Reena was upset at me and asked what my deal was! I then replied in French that I just need a little air because she smells. Reena then told Mita what I said and they were dying of laughter. I later apologized to Wanna and told her why I got mad. I guess HONESTY really is THE BEST POLICY! I am glad we are able to look back and just laugh about it. That and the fact that we are more aware and more consious about our body odour!

I was going to lie and pretend I was going to the Philippines with Reena so that I can just chill, relax and avoid the OPENaid roadtrip scheduled. As we were hailling for a scooter cab to take us to the bus station, guess who drove by in a black pick up truck? The OPENaid crew! I was like damn! Of all the places, of all the times of the day they had to do a drive by! It's like they had a sixth sense! But I am glad they caught us because I think I would be bored after day 2 doing nothing and I would hate walking the streets in fear as Pattaya is a small city and chances of getting caught by an OPENaider would be high!

So last Friday I had to get to the office for 7:30 in the morning! It was sooooooooo hard to get up as I went a little crazy watching tv. With Reena gone, I was able to finally have the power of the remote. Even though I was tired as hell, I was exited to visit a school in the bush 3 hours away from Pattaya, followed by our visit to the Burma Embassy in Bangkok. The school we went to visit is 1 of the 3 schools OPENaid wants to support. It was really hard for me to visit the school because these kids are the poorest of the poor. As we drove deeper and deeper into the bush, I thought how the hell do these kids get to the school?!!!! More importantly, where are they coming from?!!!! We didn't see any houses or villages for miles! As the 6 of us stepped out of our small rental pick up truck, we were greeted by so many Thai children of all ages, with big smiles greeting us Thai style (hands clasped together as if praying while bowing down to us). It brought a smile to my face but at the same time I felt like bursting into tears. The kids were dirty and their clothes were either too big or too small for them. We were told that most kids go to school with empty stomachs or with no food for lunch. The school tries to give the kids with no lunch (which is most of them) some rice with coconut milk to help get them through the day, but the school simply does not have the funds to give more. There is only 1 teacher for all 75 students to teach the 8 different levels. There are 2 teacher assistants with practically no pay and some mothers (unpaid) who help out during lunch or when the teacher is busy teaching the higher or lower levels. The principal told us that it is hard for them to get a teacher because the school is in the middle of nowhere and the pay is so low ($150 CDN/month). She said the teachers who've taught at the school are either volunteers or teachers who have a genuine love for children and don't care about money. I gave props to the teacher because she is doing such an amazing thing. By providing education for the children, it'll give them hope for the future and lead them in a direction opposite of the sex industry. By being there, seeing and playing with the children, I felt like I wanted to teach there. I want to help provide these kids a better future. To hell with technology! To hell with material things! It was kind of scary but I felt like I could see myself there. Away from the chaos, stress and corruption! For that moment, I felt like I could see myself living the simple life. The school was so isolated, peaceful and serene. I can just imagine how well I can sleep if I lived there! But on the other hand, it could be scary as hell. The teacher's house is a tiny house next to the school. The classroom is a little room made of concrete. The cafeteria, auditorium and rec rooms are all seperated from eachother and don't even have walls. Just a roof with 4 posts holding it up.

While I was sitting down I had some little kids come up to me and run their dirty hands in my hair. They didn't think it was real. They've never seen such big hair before. They had a good laugh about it. Normally I would have issues about people touching my hair, but I really didn't care until this little boy approached me with this HUGE cochroach/beetle looking insect on his hand. It was reddish-brown with a huge shell on its back. It was disgusting. I started to panic but kept my cool as I didn't want to look like a chicken in front of the kids. The 3 year old looking boy then went behind me and within moments had both hands in my hair. That's when I got up and started shaking my head like a headbanger trying my best not to scream. The kids were all around me laughing thinking I was crazy. I found it kind of cute when some were headbanging with me, thinking I was playing a game. I then turned to look at the 3 year old boy and he was looking up at me with his huge round eyes starring up at me with shock as if saying "What da eff are you doing crazy woman?!" Then I saw an older boy around 8 years old holding the nasty critter in his hand. The 3 year old boy gave his pet bug to the 8 year old before grabbing a handful of my hair. Thank god!

A few kids then performed for us on stage. They did some Thai dances mixed with modern moves. Then they did a Thai version of Grease. It was cute. Then the principal brought us up to the foot of the stage to introduce as to the children and then we presented them with some OPENaid t-shirts that we donated for all the students. The looks on their faces was priceless. It looked like it was Christmas day or that they won the lottery, and all we gave was a simple t-shirt. It's amazing how we take things for granted and or how we don't appreciate little things with such enthusiasm. They all got up and started to sing a song to thank us for such a simple gift. What I saw was pure, genuine, grattitude and happiness. I haven't seen or felt that way in a really long time. As they sang I smiled to hide my sadness (yet again!) but this time my lip started to shake and I couldn't hold the smile any longer. I was so moved that I broke down in tears! It was so ghetto. I lied saying I had really bad allergies. I have to really learn to keep my cool in these situations because it isn't good for them to see me crying for them. They've lived their lives not having anything, so they don't expect anything. They don't know that their situation is bad and that there is better out there.

Justin then challenged the best male ping pong player in the school to have a little match with him. Everyone gathered around to watch. It was nice to see everyone having a good time and see the children laugh. It made me feel better again after my little tear fest. Then Justin asked for the best girl ping pong player to step up. A lot of them were shy and were trying to hide. He then picked a girl who shyly but obediently stepped up to the table. Then Justin grabbed the other racket and handed it to me. I was so nervous and refused not realizing I screamed "I'm too shy!". Then everyone was cheering so I stepped up. I looked at Justin letting him know that I am going to kill him later. At first the OPENaid crew thought I was letting the girl beat me, but they could see in my face that I was really trying and I was. The little girl kicked my ass and I was really struggling to play her BUT ONLY because the wind was blowing really hard at my end of the table. Anyways, I didn't care that I got a beating because I had a lot of fun and the kids found it really amusing that the little girl beat the big, crazy looking, chocolate girl.

We went to Bangkok after to hit the Burma Embassy so that the boys can pick up their visas. They are leaving tomorrow for a 5 day trip to see if there is any progression of the projects in Burma. So it's going to be a week of just the ladies in the office. We thought it was going to be a week of no work but Justin gave us our schedules and it isn't going to be fun. One of my tasks this week is to be a mentor for our newly employed ex-go go dancer named Ya. She is 18 years old and has an interest in computers. So Justin wants me to teach her web design and how to update the web content. The only reason why I am not looking forward to it, is because my plate is full and I don't think I would have the patients to teach someone something quite complicating. Justin said he thinks I would be a good teacher and role model for her because I am outgoing, positive, smart and have a warm personality. I asked Justin to repeat what he had said when I bring my videocamera to the office. I want what he said recorded. LOL! He wants Ya to be exposed to people who are not in the sex industry as she is having a difficult time from her friends for leaving the go go bars.

Ever heard of the movie BROKEDOWN PALACE with Claire Danes? Anyways, Reena and I were almost in that situation. We were chilling at Garden Plaza Mall, eating our pretzels from Auntie Anne's (Mmmmmmm). We were eating and people watching. There was a nasty UFO wearing a t-shirt that said "ASK ME WHY I FEEL GOOD?". I then said I wish I could just go up to him and be like, (SORRY TO BE GRAPHIC BUT I HAVE A PURE HATE FOR ALL THE UFOs here!) "Do you feel good because you just fucked a 14 year old girl?" and then Reena jumped in saying "Do you feel good because you just fucked a 9 year old boy from behind?". There was a time when I turned my back for one second to look at the mall map, and this creepy UFO who looked like Roy Orbison wearing an Elvis Presley outfit went up to Reena from behind asking her where she is from. She got nerveous and said,"Sorry I'm not interested". I was like if I were you I would say, " I come from PLANET FUCK YOU BITCH, ever heard of it??!!!!". So then we were in the midst of promising eachother to go on a major RAMPAGE before we leave Pattaya and tell off these UFOs. Right when I proposed the rampage, and stuffed pretzels in my mouth, some 40 year old German or Russian looking guy and his girlfriend came up to us and plopped jewelery on our table and ran off. My intial reaction was to put my hands up as I was scared to leave any fingerprints on them. We then saw some Thai men chasing them and one of them grabbed the goods and told us that they stole from their store. We had a few witnesses who had a good laugh at the incident as it isn't common for Farang to steal. We had a few people come up to us and asked what happend. All the while my mouth was filled with pretzels and my hands were still up. I was so shocked at what happened that I couldn't chew. It was really freaky and that I was kind of mad at myself that I didn't do anything to help stop the thieves. We could have easily thrown one of the chairs at our table at them or even stick out our foot to trip them. It just happened so fast! When I watch my cop shows and they have witnesses who couldn't give a clear description of the criminals I would call them stupid and blind, but now that I've experienced being a key witness I can understand why they aren't able to give a clear description!