Not Sure...

Song of the Day : Better Than Ezra "Circle of Friends"

Ever since Luke left for Cambodia, it seems like the shit really hit the fan at work. It sucks that there is so much drama and chaos at work. Reena and I noticed odd, internal issues since the beginning but we put our feelings aside because we believe and support what OPENaid is all about and what they do for the Thai and Burmese. So we carried on, and everything was fine and dandy. I felt like we were a family. An odd family, but a family nonetheless. But, when Luke arrived EVERYTHING came out. All the thoughts and feelings we ALL had were unpacked. Not sure if the alcahol played a big factor but everything came out and now it seems like everything is falling apart. Reena and I were upset because last Saturday was the BIG, annual LIGHTS FESTIVAL all over Thailand. All the ladies dressed up in the traditional Thai gowns and had their hair and make-up done. We were going to dress up but it was actually pretty expensive to get dressed up for only 1 day. That and ALL the shops were insane! Ratanna and Ya had appointments to get their hair, make-up and dresses fitted for 12pm and only got out of the shop at 5pm!

Speaking of Ya...she dropped the whole pole dancing deal but she's been really nasty as work. To the point where I feel so violated all the time. Reena told me not to react to what she does because the more I react the more she will keep doing and saying what she is doing and saying. One day we were reading the world news, and there was a story about how a 15 year old girl in Brazil was locked in a prison cell with 20 other men. Why she was placed there, we don't know - but while she was locked in there she was raped by all 20 prisoners. We were all freaking out and upset about what had happend to that girl but Ya's response was, "Wow, she's so lucky!". So you can just imagine what I have to deal with.

Anyways, Reena and I missed the festivities because we originally set out for the wrong beach and by the time we got to the right area, all everyone wanted to do was unpack and get "pissed". We should have just left everyone, but I kind of didn't want to leave Luke's side especially since it was his last day in Thailand :'( I guess I will just have to come back to Thailand next year to really enjoy the Lights Festival...So if anyone would like to join, let's start planning ASAP ;)

Now that Christmas is coming, the office will be closed so that everyone can go back home to be with their families. As for me, I feel unsure what to do. I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting - trying to figure out what to do next. I want to go home (mainly because the funds have run out), but in a way I don't feel like I am ready to go. I want to see more of Thailand and the countries surrounding it. Even though Pattaya is filled with nasty UFOs, I feel comfy being here. Everytime we go out we always see "friends" in the streets and all the hotel staff know us. It's nice to feel like celebrity and to see familiar faces smiling, waving and even hugging us in the streets. Back in Toronto, no one knows eachother and the people you do tend to see on a daily basis don't usually smile or wave at you. I guess there really is a big difference living in a big city and living in a beach town. Also, now that Christmas is around the corner, I don't think I can handle being back home. I used to love Christmas but now it seems like we forget about the real meaning of Christmas because we are so blinded by greed and material things. Seeing and being in a country where people don't have much makes me realize and appreciate the little things. So the idea of celebrating a small, quiet Christmas dinner by the beach seems to be a lot more appealing and more humbling. I don't think I am ready or able to handle all the glitter and jazz of what's to come back home.

It's kind of funny and not at the same time, but last night someone broke into our office. They were only able to steal Justin and Ben's laptops but it had EVERYTHING about OPENaid. They even stole the backup sticks that they had. There was speculation that it may have been an inside job. Only because our office was the only place that was robbed in "The Village", but we all had an alibi so we don't know what that was all about. The only reason why we laughed at what happend, and probably the only reason why we were targeted was because of KARMA. Justin's been really shady and flat out lied to each of us that we felt he is being punished for not being honest with us. I won't get into detail about what is going on, but let's just say that we are in search of a Private Investigator.

With all the crap going on, Reena and I decided to just go out dancing and drink until we've reached our "happy" place. We went to this hip hop lounge/club. There was this live band that played all the craziest hip hop and r&b covers. Reena and I were so happy because they were so good and they performed Alicia Keyes's KARMA & NO ONE. So we went crazy and the band even gave us props. It was cool and we felt like groupies. It was bizarre because these 3 Thai girls sat at our table because they were feeling our vibe. So they started to dance all crazy with us and introduced themselves to us. There was one lady in particular who looked like she was 40 and she was so drunk. She was in search of a dancing partner since her 2 friends were both grinding and gropping eachother while they danced. So the drunk 40 year old kept grabbing and grinding me. I felt so violated again and kept trying to get her to go for Reena. She kept trying to get one of us and we kept pushing her off. The more she drank the more aggressive she became so we gave up our good seats to get away from her. It's been a really longtime since we got our dance on and decided to go back regularly. Dancing is a good stress reliever! We didn't realize until now that there are actually "normal" clubs out here. We were just advised by Ratanna and Justin that nothing is safe out here! I think someone's being a little too paranoid!

This weekend we will be going to Burma for a few days. Our visa expires so we have to leave the country so we can be able to stay and re-enter Thailand. We were going to go to Langkawi, Malaysia but since we have to keep it ghetto we are going to hit Burma. It was on the list of dangerous countries to visit, but the boys had a fabulous time when they went and said it was safe. I hope they're right! It just sucks because I am sick...AGAIN! Damn KARMA! I think it's punishment for not showing up to work for the past 2 days! Now that it is "cold" season, the temperature goes from 30+ degrees during the day and falls down to low 20's at night. So I think I got the weather transition bug.

Trust

Song of the Day : Namie Amuro "Lovin' It"

How far would you go to gain someone's trust? I have a dilemma. I wish Reena was here so I can consult with her what to do. There is no one else in the office I can bring this issue to as I had promised to keep this a secret. So rather than tell the other 3 girls at work, I am writing this on my blog for EVERYONE to see! Here's the deal....Justin wanted me to be a "mentor" for this new OPENaid employee named Ya. She is an 18 year old "EX" Go-go dancer. So I was in the office the other day teaching her how to organize files, database and updating our website's content. Then she told me she freelances at the go-go bar when she is bored and when she wants to make extra cash. The reason we hired her, was because she has potential, the knowledge, the heart, the enthusiasm to learn new things and to get out of the go-go bars (so we thought!).

Her town is up North near the Laos border, so even though she wants to stay away from the scene, she can't help but go back because all her friends are go-go girls. I started to advise her that even though it isn't recommended for her to go to the go-go bars, we can't stop her because she is an adult and should know what's right or wrong. I then told her what I felt about the go-go bars and that she can remain friends with the girls but NOT freelance for extra cash. She assured me that she is only dancing and not sleeping with the Farang. Then she gave me a proposition. She said the only way she would take my advice or gain my trust, is if I go to the go-go bars and dance with her and her friends. I was like WHAATTTTTTT?!!!!!!! I said there is no way I am going to ever do that. She felt kind of insulted by what I said, as she felt that I was knocking her and her friends. So I kind of sugar coated my reason saying that I don't want to do it because I am shy. So she got all exited and said that we can drink whisky at her place before we go and that will help with my shyness.

So for the past 2 days I've been staying away from the office and working poolside or on the terrace overlooking the beach. I figured, since the big boss and the other 2 boys are in Burma I might as well take advantage of the "freedom". I also need to work on my tan as I feel like it's fading. I must keep my chocolate woman status! So anyways, I am eagerly awaiting Reena's return for some guidance. Perhaps the longer I stall, Ya would forget about her proposition. Or perhaps drop the proposition with Reena around or hopefully bug Reena to dance with her and her friends instead of me! I've actually been thinking about what she said, and I am wondering if I should do it or not. She said it would only be 1 song. I keep thinking about how my dad once said I shouldn't knock something unless I try it. But then I picture my mom's face and how mad she would be if I did do it. Then again, how will she ever know? If this one dance would ensure her to stop then it would be worth it right? 4 minutes of exploitation to end the lifelong exploitation of one go-go girl. To end? Or not to end?

On a happier, fluffier note, I just want to say that I feel happy to have finally met Luke. He is the Communications and Marketing Director at our Australia office. We've been working a lot together because we are re-vamping all marketing material for OPENaid. He is so smart and so good looking that I have problems focusing at the tasks at hand. Sometimes I think it was probably better if he stayed in Australia so I wouldn't have met him face to face. He came to Pattaya 2 weeks ago. When I first met him I thought he was just another pretty boy, but he's got a lot of passion, a big heart, really intelligent and really motivated to make a big difference in the world. No offence to anyone, but it's been a really longtime since I've had really good, intellectual conversations. I know it's probably hard for most of you to picture me talking serious about humanitarian issues, world history and politics but I just love it! I just haven't met anyone since my Uni years who is as keen and driven about those topics. (Sorry Siemen I am not talking about Helen of Troy!). I love being with Luke because he reminds me of how I used to be. I think for the past 5 years I've stored my brain in the attic, because I was under the impression that using my brain was geeky and not cool. That and the fact that clubbing, alcahol and bling got in the way of my focus.

Last Saturday, Ben, Mita, Luke and I went out for dinner and a few drinks to "unpack". We ended up drinking until 3am. It was the latest I've ever been out in Thailand! The later you stay out, the more you can see the nastiness that happens in Pattaya at night. We weren't even in the hardcore area of the sex scene! We saw a few nasty, drunk UFOs harrassing all Thai women walking down the street. Way after Mita left, one drunk UFO came up to our table and asked Luke if he had spent all his money on me, so that he can have me. He was so drunk, that I told Luke to just ignore the guy because things could get ugly at the bar. Luke was so bothered that he cussed the guy out and all the other UFOs at the bar. I thought there was going to be a bar brawl so I told Luke to stop, but Luke said he wanted them to challenge him. We learned to never challenge a bar owner, because he/she has the authority and power to do what they want. So we got kicked out because the bar owner was one of the nasty, drunk UFOs.

Anyways, there is a BIG Thai festival this Saturday and Ratanna and Ya said we all have to dress up in a traditional Thai gown and get our make-up done. The dresses are really insane and I am not sure if I am able to actually wear a Thai gown and Thai bling. It is however once a year, and my first experience and perhaps my last. So even though I don't want to, I'll do it. I guess the real reason I don't want to dress up, is because the shops are insane with all the last minute purchasers/renters and I HATE big crowds!

Brokedown Palace

Song of the Day : Keane "Crystal Ball"

When it comes to clothing or purchasing products, I ALWAYS go for the top brands (I guess it's the diva in me) because I know they are reliable and won't ever dissapoint me, but for some reason Reena was able to pursuade me into buying the cheap Thai hair mousse rather than the $10 can of L'Oreal mousse. All I have to say, is that the outcome was and is catastrophic. My poodle is now an obese poodle. I feel like I escaped a psych ward as curly hair in Thailand is not cool. No ONE has curly hair here. I have now hit the 3 major NO NOs here : 1) I have a poodle and not straight hair 2) I am voluptuous and everyone here is thin as a rail 3) I am dark and everyone strives to be white. I am running out of body lotion and I am debating wether I should just let my skin produce natural oil from sweat or cave in and buy lotion here. Every store we went to, even the International stores do not have normal lotion. They have all the North American brands here, yet ALL still have SKIN WHITENNING agents. Arghhhhhhh! Why can't people be dark and proud??? Some Thai women call me chocolate woman, and I make my sad face and say that back home it's beautiful. They say it's nice on me but they wouldn't ever want to be dark. Disssssssssss! Then they all touch my hair and say it's nice, so I reply back saying they should go to the hair salon and get a perm. Then they smile and laughingly say "Oh no I would never do that!" Disssssssssss! Whenever I meet new Thai people all is well until I sit down. I love how their smilling faces turned into concerned looks as they look down at my mid region, point and say "Ooooh CHELLEL! Your stomach....PAHM-PUOY! (fat)". Disssssssssss! I just smile now and say I LOVE THAI FOOD! To make things worse, I get the ocasional reply back asking wether or not I am pregnant. Then I say 'Noooooo, I know for sure I am not'. Then they insist saying "Are you sure?!". Geez can you dig the knife deeper?!!!! Then I tell them they should never ask if anyone is pregnant. That they should wait until it is mentioned because then the person would feel so hurt and sad if they aren't. Then they feel bad, and say, 'Oooooh it's nice. I want some! Remember what I said??? Don't trust 98% of the Thais??? Well I am slowly believing it more and more everyday! Sometimes I feel like replying back that if they want some PAHM-PUOY then they should eat more! But I know that there is a lot of poverty here and that maybe they really do want Pahm-puoy but they just simply can't eat enough.

Last Thursday Reena went to the Philippines because her grandmother is ill. I was going to go with her because we were both scared about her going alone and me being alone in Thailand. Then we realized that I've never been there before so it wouldn't be a very pleasant FIRST TIME experience. I am pretty sure y'all can agree that we all want our FIRST TIME to be memorable and enjoyable. I also didn't want to feel like I am imposing and to cause her family more stress by having to take care of me and feel like they have to "entertain" me. Also, I know for sure my mom would give me a BIG SWIFT kick in the arse if I go to the Philippines. It can be a dangerous country and my mom warned me so many times not to go alone (meaning without her or my dad). It's frustrating because there are many times and many opportunities where I am so close to the motherland and I could never go! I think my sister and I are the only Filipinos who've NEVER been to the Philippines! It's pretty sad!

With Reena gone, I thought I would be in hell with the OPENaid crew. I think all our togetherness is getting on all our nerves. I think the reason is because there is more workers and volunteers and not enough office space so everyone is easily agitated with one another. I think the heat may be a major factor in our madness. It's been hotter and hotter everyday. I can no longer arrive to work with a dry t-shirt. The other day, before Reena left I actually snapped in the office. I actually yelled at Wanna. She is the sweetest, kindest, funniest woman and she is like a mother to Reena and I. So I felt really bad. I yelled at her because she was in my face and all up in my grill about updating the web content. All I wanted was space to breathe, try to cool off and get some air circulating. My desk is in the corner of the office, and she was blocking the fan and .... she smelt. Reena was upset at me and asked what my deal was! I then replied in French that I just need a little air because she smells. Reena then told Mita what I said and they were dying of laughter. I later apologized to Wanna and told her why I got mad. I guess HONESTY really is THE BEST POLICY! I am glad we are able to look back and just laugh about it. That and the fact that we are more aware and more consious about our body odour!

I was going to lie and pretend I was going to the Philippines with Reena so that I can just chill, relax and avoid the OPENaid roadtrip scheduled. As we were hailling for a scooter cab to take us to the bus station, guess who drove by in a black pick up truck? The OPENaid crew! I was like damn! Of all the places, of all the times of the day they had to do a drive by! It's like they had a sixth sense! But I am glad they caught us because I think I would be bored after day 2 doing nothing and I would hate walking the streets in fear as Pattaya is a small city and chances of getting caught by an OPENaider would be high!

So last Friday I had to get to the office for 7:30 in the morning! It was sooooooooo hard to get up as I went a little crazy watching tv. With Reena gone, I was able to finally have the power of the remote. Even though I was tired as hell, I was exited to visit a school in the bush 3 hours away from Pattaya, followed by our visit to the Burma Embassy in Bangkok. The school we went to visit is 1 of the 3 schools OPENaid wants to support. It was really hard for me to visit the school because these kids are the poorest of the poor. As we drove deeper and deeper into the bush, I thought how the hell do these kids get to the school?!!!! More importantly, where are they coming from?!!!! We didn't see any houses or villages for miles! As the 6 of us stepped out of our small rental pick up truck, we were greeted by so many Thai children of all ages, with big smiles greeting us Thai style (hands clasped together as if praying while bowing down to us). It brought a smile to my face but at the same time I felt like bursting into tears. The kids were dirty and their clothes were either too big or too small for them. We were told that most kids go to school with empty stomachs or with no food for lunch. The school tries to give the kids with no lunch (which is most of them) some rice with coconut milk to help get them through the day, but the school simply does not have the funds to give more. There is only 1 teacher for all 75 students to teach the 8 different levels. There are 2 teacher assistants with practically no pay and some mothers (unpaid) who help out during lunch or when the teacher is busy teaching the higher or lower levels. The principal told us that it is hard for them to get a teacher because the school is in the middle of nowhere and the pay is so low ($150 CDN/month). She said the teachers who've taught at the school are either volunteers or teachers who have a genuine love for children and don't care about money. I gave props to the teacher because she is doing such an amazing thing. By providing education for the children, it'll give them hope for the future and lead them in a direction opposite of the sex industry. By being there, seeing and playing with the children, I felt like I wanted to teach there. I want to help provide these kids a better future. To hell with technology! To hell with material things! It was kind of scary but I felt like I could see myself there. Away from the chaos, stress and corruption! For that moment, I felt like I could see myself living the simple life. The school was so isolated, peaceful and serene. I can just imagine how well I can sleep if I lived there! But on the other hand, it could be scary as hell. The teacher's house is a tiny house next to the school. The classroom is a little room made of concrete. The cafeteria, auditorium and rec rooms are all seperated from eachother and don't even have walls. Just a roof with 4 posts holding it up.

While I was sitting down I had some little kids come up to me and run their dirty hands in my hair. They didn't think it was real. They've never seen such big hair before. They had a good laugh about it. Normally I would have issues about people touching my hair, but I really didn't care until this little boy approached me with this HUGE cochroach/beetle looking insect on his hand. It was reddish-brown with a huge shell on its back. It was disgusting. I started to panic but kept my cool as I didn't want to look like a chicken in front of the kids. The 3 year old looking boy then went behind me and within moments had both hands in my hair. That's when I got up and started shaking my head like a headbanger trying my best not to scream. The kids were all around me laughing thinking I was crazy. I found it kind of cute when some were headbanging with me, thinking I was playing a game. I then turned to look at the 3 year old boy and he was looking up at me with his huge round eyes starring up at me with shock as if saying "What da eff are you doing crazy woman?!" Then I saw an older boy around 8 years old holding the nasty critter in his hand. The 3 year old boy gave his pet bug to the 8 year old before grabbing a handful of my hair. Thank god!

A few kids then performed for us on stage. They did some Thai dances mixed with modern moves. Then they did a Thai version of Grease. It was cute. Then the principal brought us up to the foot of the stage to introduce as to the children and then we presented them with some OPENaid t-shirts that we donated for all the students. The looks on their faces was priceless. It looked like it was Christmas day or that they won the lottery, and all we gave was a simple t-shirt. It's amazing how we take things for granted and or how we don't appreciate little things with such enthusiasm. They all got up and started to sing a song to thank us for such a simple gift. What I saw was pure, genuine, grattitude and happiness. I haven't seen or felt that way in a really long time. As they sang I smiled to hide my sadness (yet again!) but this time my lip started to shake and I couldn't hold the smile any longer. I was so moved that I broke down in tears! It was so ghetto. I lied saying I had really bad allergies. I have to really learn to keep my cool in these situations because it isn't good for them to see me crying for them. They've lived their lives not having anything, so they don't expect anything. They don't know that their situation is bad and that there is better out there.

Justin then challenged the best male ping pong player in the school to have a little match with him. Everyone gathered around to watch. It was nice to see everyone having a good time and see the children laugh. It made me feel better again after my little tear fest. Then Justin asked for the best girl ping pong player to step up. A lot of them were shy and were trying to hide. He then picked a girl who shyly but obediently stepped up to the table. Then Justin grabbed the other racket and handed it to me. I was so nervous and refused not realizing I screamed "I'm too shy!". Then everyone was cheering so I stepped up. I looked at Justin letting him know that I am going to kill him later. At first the OPENaid crew thought I was letting the girl beat me, but they could see in my face that I was really trying and I was. The little girl kicked my ass and I was really struggling to play her BUT ONLY because the wind was blowing really hard at my end of the table. Anyways, I didn't care that I got a beating because I had a lot of fun and the kids found it really amusing that the little girl beat the big, crazy looking, chocolate girl.

We went to Bangkok after to hit the Burma Embassy so that the boys can pick up their visas. They are leaving tomorrow for a 5 day trip to see if there is any progression of the projects in Burma. So it's going to be a week of just the ladies in the office. We thought it was going to be a week of no work but Justin gave us our schedules and it isn't going to be fun. One of my tasks this week is to be a mentor for our newly employed ex-go go dancer named Ya. She is 18 years old and has an interest in computers. So Justin wants me to teach her web design and how to update the web content. The only reason why I am not looking forward to it, is because my plate is full and I don't think I would have the patients to teach someone something quite complicating. Justin said he thinks I would be a good teacher and role model for her because I am outgoing, positive, smart and have a warm personality. I asked Justin to repeat what he had said when I bring my videocamera to the office. I want what he said recorded. LOL! He wants Ya to be exposed to people who are not in the sex industry as she is having a difficult time from her friends for leaving the go go bars.

Ever heard of the movie BROKEDOWN PALACE with Claire Danes? Anyways, Reena and I were almost in that situation. We were chilling at Garden Plaza Mall, eating our pretzels from Auntie Anne's (Mmmmmmm). We were eating and people watching. There was a nasty UFO wearing a t-shirt that said "ASK ME WHY I FEEL GOOD?". I then said I wish I could just go up to him and be like, (SORRY TO BE GRAPHIC BUT I HAVE A PURE HATE FOR ALL THE UFOs here!) "Do you feel good because you just fucked a 14 year old girl?" and then Reena jumped in saying "Do you feel good because you just fucked a 9 year old boy from behind?". There was a time when I turned my back for one second to look at the mall map, and this creepy UFO who looked like Roy Orbison wearing an Elvis Presley outfit went up to Reena from behind asking her where she is from. She got nerveous and said,"Sorry I'm not interested". I was like if I were you I would say, " I come from PLANET FUCK YOU BITCH, ever heard of it??!!!!". So then we were in the midst of promising eachother to go on a major RAMPAGE before we leave Pattaya and tell off these UFOs. Right when I proposed the rampage, and stuffed pretzels in my mouth, some 40 year old German or Russian looking guy and his girlfriend came up to us and plopped jewelery on our table and ran off. My intial reaction was to put my hands up as I was scared to leave any fingerprints on them. We then saw some Thai men chasing them and one of them grabbed the goods and told us that they stole from their store. We had a few witnesses who had a good laugh at the incident as it isn't common for Farang to steal. We had a few people come up to us and asked what happend. All the while my mouth was filled with pretzels and my hands were still up. I was so shocked at what happened that I couldn't chew. It was really freaky and that I was kind of mad at myself that I didn't do anything to help stop the thieves. We could have easily thrown one of the chairs at our table at them or even stick out our foot to trip them. It just happened so fast! When I watch my cop shows and they have witnesses who couldn't give a clear description of the criminals I would call them stupid and blind, but now that I've experienced being a key witness I can understand why they aren't able to give a clear description!

Ringing the Gong

Song of the Day : Beyonce "Ring The Alarm"

I've been alone in the office all day. At first it was nice because I was able to actually concentrate and focus at the tasks at hand, but now I am bored and this major rain storm is scaring me. I would really love to listen to music right now but all we have in the office are Thai cds and I don't mean to be rude in any way but Thai music sucks! Every song sounds the same!

Anyways, the other day Reena and I were able to leave the office at 3pm to hit Walking Street and get ahead on our bar work. Justin wanted us to talk to a really young girl we are trying to help get out of the bar scene but unfortunately her mother is in the same biz so it is harder for her to get out. The young girl was not at the bar so Reena and I decided to just walk around and look for young girls. So we went to the shady area and saw a young girl sitting at the bar. As we approached her we were kind of hesitant to talk to her because she looked so hardcore. She was wearing the shortest low rise shorts I have ever seen. Her black thong was hanging out and she had tattoos everywhere. We were going to turn away but she told us to come in for a drink. So we hesitantly sat down and order our usual cokes. We started to talk to her and her English was so good. She didn't have an accent. We asked if she lived or went to school abroad but she said no. That she learned English on her own by reading books and watching English shows. Her name is Tang and she is 20 years old and has been in "the game" for 2 years. She seems to be on top of her game and unable to talk her out of it. Then 2 other girls came to join us and talk to us. Joanne who is 25 and Anne who is 24 (we later found out that Anne is the Mama Saan of the bar as her boyfriend from England is the owner).

They were really funny and joked around a lot. The things they said were unbelievable. They were really raunchy and talked really dirty and in detail. I think they fed off me and Reena's reactions. The more we reacted the more they would talk dirtier and act crazier. Anne whipped out from under the bar a rubber snake. That of course drove me into a real tizzy. I freaked out and screamed and turned my back towards her. All the bar girls were looking at me like I was crazy and Reena was laughing explainning how scared I am with snakes. I was afraid Anne will throw the snake at me so I started to walk away while sipping on my coke to calm me down. I thought Anne had put it away because she was telling me it isn't real and I shouldn't be scared. So I turn to walk back to the bar and Anne was waving the damn snake saying "It's not real! It's not real!". She then promised to put it away, as she knew we would leave if she didn't. She then said we should all play JENGA to calm down. So I said ok. Anne then said it would be more fun if we gamble for drinks. That the loser will have to ring the big bell and buy drinks for everyone. I don't know how it came about but Reena agreed to it. Of course we lose so we ended up having to buy everyone drinks. It really hurt having to start our bar work with an empty wallet. I asked Anne what would happen if we didn't have enough money to pay for the tab (600 baht) she said we would have to work at the bar. That we would get 300 baht if we have a little BOOM BOOM with a Farang (western man) for 2 hours. I freaked out saying the girls ONLY get 300 baht to have sex with a nasty UFO? She said that is what they get. 1,000 baht if they stay overnight with a Farang! It's pretty sad knowing that the girls sell their bodies for sex and only get $9 for 2 hours. It's sad knowing that it is a part of life and that it is hard to get out of it as it is the only way to make fast cash for their families. We asked why don't the girls work at McDs? Or at a store? Anne said they would only get 150 Baht ($4-$5) for 12 hours of work a day whereas working at the bar they can get a lot more for 12 hours of work. So we lost 600 Baht but the good thing about it, was that I was able to ring the big GONG. It was so fun! I think I got a little too exited with the bell that it attracted tourists knowing that the sound of the gong means free drinks. We got hustled by the bar girls but at least they only let us pay for the bar girls' drinks and not the tourists.

We then went back home to get more cash and take a 2 hour nap. After dinner at McDs we went to visit and follow up on our friends WEE AND WAHN (sisters who work as bar girls). We first met them last week. Wee is the older of the 2 and was the freshest in the Pattya scene. We found out fantastic news from Wahn. She told us that Wee decided to leave the scene and go back home up North to be with her 2 babies. She didn't like the scene and wanted to get out fast. So now we felt it was our duty to try and work on Wahn to get out. She wants to get out real bad, but unfortunately she is the bread winner for the family. Reena got into a deep discussion with her while I worked on distracting the Mama Saan and the other bar girls. We can't let them know what our intentions are. Mama Saan remembered us from last week and started questionning me to find out what we are doing here. I lied saying we are visiting Farang friends who work here. She thought I was half black half Thai so she introduced me to a black man who was sitting at the bar with his girlfriend. Not sure if it is his girlfriend or a woman he bought. Anyways this guy is from the States and as soon as we started talking, I noticed the bar girls and the mama saan all went to the other side of the bar talking and chilling amongst eachother. I was like HEY! They're making me do their job!!! After he left with his "girlfriend", the mama saan then brought this nasty Australian with the longest goatee ever! I was checking to see if there were any bugs caught inside! And then she and the bar girls left me with him. He was so raunchy and was talking about his 10 days of heaven and constant "BOOM BOOM" with girls. (People refer to 'sex as BOOM BOOM) I kept looking at Reena and Wahn to see what's going on and if we can leave soon. I made a face to Reena showing my desperation and my urgent requests to get on out of there! At least I got a few laughs from bar girls at the other bar next to us! Apparently none of the bar girls wanted the Aussie and they were hoping I can "entertain" him and maybe go home with him! NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!! He started rolling up a joint and urging me to smoke up with him. I was like Noooo thanks! Then he was like 'Common I won't charge you! I felt like I was in highschool again, it was a total DEGRASSI JUNIOR HIGH moment. I was like "I've never taken drugs before and I intend on ever doing so!". So he smoked two joints before he left me and said he wanted to look for BOOM BOOM before his flight back to Australia in 6 hours.

Later that night we decided to unpack our thoughts and feelings over ice cream. We've been having a tendency to really treat ourselves everyday. So now our wallets are a lot lighter and our stomachs are a lot heavier. We then decided to visit our friend Phi for our hour foot rub and a 30 minute back rub. We haven't been able to sleep for the past few days because of that damn kareoke place next to our hotel. As a matter of fact I showed up for work at 11am instead of 9am because I did not sleep AT all the other night. It was really out of control. So we thought getting a massage would calm us down and let us relax so that we can sleep. So as Phi was doing my back, she started to freak out because she said something is wrong with my back. She asked if I've been injured or something. Then Reena's lady started feeling my back, and then they got Reena to feel my back. I think Thailand is good for me in the sense that I am discovering a lot about myself. That I've got issues and that I have a bad back. Sheesh! Anyways the massages worked as we were really drowsy walking home, but it only worked for a little while because as soon as we got home we were hyper again!

Disturbia 2

Just as I was logging out, Reena told me to look at the LADYBOY (transvestite) across from us in the net cafe. She or he is hardcore spanking the monkey! I guess she/he is having an online web chat and is making these nasty noises and pointing the web cam to her/his crotch area. He/she is hardcore panting, licking & kissing the computer screen and talking really dirty and in English! I hate the fact that she/he is facing us and we can see EVERYTHING! I am even more disturbed that Reena does not want to get off her ass and leave. She wants to wait for the ladyboy to reach his or her climax. The more I listen and watch, the more I can see why she wants to stay!We are now both tearing and dying of laughter. We don't understand why no one else is reacting. Is this a common thing to do in public??? I think I am going to visit PHI at the massage parlour and get a rub down as I don't think I can sleep tonight.

Disturbia

Song of the day : Alicia Keyes "No One"

Reena and I were supposed to go to Bangkok this weekend, but again it turned out to be a lazy weekend of pampering, sleeping and chilling. We had a rough week. A really exhausting week. Thursday we worked 15 hours, thus giving us the idea to start our own organization "END EXPLOITATION OF VOLUNTEERS!". Just because Justin can work all hours around the clock without sleep, doesn't mean we all can!

We had a rough week! It was the busiest yet! The worst was Thursday. I am not sure what to think or what Justin's intentions are. We had told him that Reena and I make an amazing duo at picking up girls in need. He even praised us for being able to have the personality and the skills to do so. However this week he is using a DIVIDE AND CONQUER tactic. He kept trying to seperate us all week and during bar work! The other day, he asked if I can take a walk with him. Which to him is a ride on his scooter. We zipped around the city while we had a discussion. He was telling me that he had a meeting with the maffia the other night. He told me not to tell anyone, especially Wanna and Ratanna as they are sensitive and fearful of the maffia. He said he wanted to tell me so I am aware of what is going on in case of an "emergency".

They don't like what OPENaid is about. They make a lot of their money not just by prostitutes and bar girls, but they take advantage of the poorest of the poor. A lot of the poor people who live in the slums need money to start their own little business. So they borrow money from the maffia but their interest rates are so high, that they are only able to make the minimum payments, thus never being able to clear their debts. What OPENaid does, is provide loans to payoff their maffia debts at a really low interest rate or no interest rate at all. That is one of the programs I am really keen about and really love the fact that we help Pattaya tackle their poverty issue. There are so many business opportunities at such low costs to start however so many are unable to, and turn to prostitution or have life time ties with the maffia. I then realized us being seen with Justin is a safety hazard to all of us at OPENaid!

He then wanted to take me to a go go bar at 3pm to talk to one of the girls we are helping, but thank god she wasn't there because I was not up for beer and naked girls at 3pm! That night, we met up a SOI JET to follow up on this young girl we are helping. So Reena, Ratanna and I were on our way to the bar but then Justin told me to put on a helmet as he wanted my company to put gas in the scooter. Before we hit the gas station he wanted to take me to a go go bar. So we get there and it was a small dark go go bar with 2 little stages filled with young half naked girls all dancing on poles surrounded with Pattaya's filthiest UFOs! We then ordered drinks and then Justin said he needed to talk to one of the girls in the back and he left me alone! I felt so awkward and uncomfortable because of all the stares I was getting from : 1) The men wondering why I am watching the girls and not up on stage dancing. 2) The dancers wondering what I am doing, most thinking I am a dyke. I wish I had my cell phone to keep me preoccupied and give me something to focus my attention to!

When Justin got back, we headed out and I "unpacked" my thoughts and feelings and told him how I felt about him leaving me alone. He then apologized and said he will take me to another bar (not go go) because he wanted to introduce me to a girl OPENaid has been helping for awhile. So we go to this bar where I met "Oy" and we started to talk. Justin said we couldn't discuss anything personal as the owner of the bar was sitting on the stool next to us. He then orders a round of beer for us. I thought it was strange that he ordered beer as we are not allowed to drink on the job. I didn't question because I felt like I could use a good beer to numb my pain of seeing young girls pole dancing. So he leaves me alone at the bar to talk to Oy while he goes to a go go bar across to speak to another girl. He then comes back and said the go go girl is upset with him because she thinks he is with his girlfriend (me). So he told me to go across to talk to her so she can believe I am not Thai and that I am from Canada working for OPENaid. I was like geez common! So I go over to talk to the go go girl wearing a naughty high school girl get up with pig tails. The girl was looking at me with the biggest attitude ever, and as I approached her she turned her back towards me. So I tapped her shoulder and I introduced myself.

We finally left DIAMOND STREET (one of the many GO GO BAR streets) and headed to the outskirts of Pattaya to get gas. All the bright lights and the hustle and bustle of Pattaya was gone and I felt like I was able to breathe again. So we get gas for the scooter and he tells me we will head back to SOI JET to pick up Reena and Ratanna. I was happy again to be reunited with Reena but of course he just had to take me to another go go bar for more beer and half naked girls! After telling him how uncomfy I felt about being left alone at the other go go bar, he leaves me alone again! I saw another female in the audience. She looked chinese. I had a good laugh as she looked very proper wearing a white collered blouse, a black sweater vest and her geeky glasses. She looked more tense than I did so I was able to kick back, drink my beer and "relax" a bit.

After we reunited with Reena and Ratanna, we all headed to the go go bar Justin took us on our first night in Pattaya. It is small and dark but felt more upbeat. The girls were all exited to see Reena and I. They remembered us from a month ago. The half naked girls just crowded around us and were just chatting away and laughing. Reena and I did not know what was going on. Next thing you know one of the 2 mama saans aka the madam/pimpette came over with the owner and she put her arm around Reena's waist and told him that Reena is hers, so then he grabs me by the waist and said I am his. I felt so violated. He is the nastiest UFO from France. He then comes back with all these shots and we weren't sure if we should drink them but Justin gave us the nod that it is ok. That killed me! With all the beers and the shots I felt so tipsy that I asked the mama saan to take me to the bathroom. Because women don't normally go to these places, there are never any female bathrooms. So I walk in where I was greeted by a drunk man facing the door, pissing away at one of the urinals. I felt scared he was going to kick in the door to my bathroom stahl. Luckily Justin came in to check if I was ok. Reena told me that Rattana was going to check up on me but Justin insisted that he went to check up on me. Reena thinks he likes me. I kept denying it hoping she is wrong but the more I put the pieces together I am starting to think does.

So I get back from the toilet where Justin then tells me we are going to go for another walk. By then I was like ok, it's late we are probably going to finally really discuss my thoughts and feelings about my night of intense go go bars. Of course it doesn't end there...we go to a more hardcore go go. This go go bar had several stages and the place was really bright and well lit. Also, ALL the girls were fully naked and some were in cages. I thought my night couldn't get any worse but it did. By then I was really kicking back the beers because I was really disturbed by all the men there. With the bright lights I was able to see their faces more clearly and see their disgusting looks as they gaze at the young, naked girls surrounding them. Justin explained to me more about the life of a go go girl and the quotas they have to make. They have to have 9 "bar fees" paid for each month, if not they will be deducted from their salary. 1 bar fee is basically half or a quarter of their salary so they try so hard to have one paid for. A bar fee is paid for by a "Farang"(Westerner) who then takes the girl out for a night of sex or whatever they want the girl to do for them. I heard a lot of horror stories of what some of the Farang men have done to some of the girls we've helped or are in the midst of helping. I don't know how these men sleep at night after really abusing and taking advantage of these women? I don't understand how it's possible for these men to do what they do? Or how they can do what they do? I don't want to get into detail because thinking about it makes me sick. Justin said Reena and I should go to one of these go go bars one night and pay for a girl's bar fee and just take her out to dinner to talk and get to unpack her. "UNPACK" is Justin's word for digging deep and getting into the core of someone's thoughts and feelings.

It's strange but Justin said he would like to do a study on me. If a psychologist wants to do a case study on you, is it a compliment? Or should you be worried? I feel so bothered and disturbed! I also feel bothered and disturbed after getting my hair did today. I wanted to get a wavy perm done - I got a gay guy so I felt exited knowing that gay men really know how to do a girl's hair. The outcome is really disastrous. What a way to end my week of DISTURBIA! I look like I had put my finger into a socket! That or a nasty poodle! :'(

Picking Up All the Ladies :S

Song of the Day : Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls"

I just want to say, if I hear that damn song above one more time I will SCREEEAAAAMMMMMMM! That song follows us EVERYWHERE....it's unbelievable how much they kill that damn song here!!! We were in the movie theatre and when we walked in they played the song....then another song came on after.....then the "DJ" kept skipping all the good songs so that he can go back to the Sean Kingston song!!!! The other day we were walking to our soup lady for lunch with the OPENaid staff....and they had this truck that drives around advertising over a loud speaker....and that song came on and it followed us as we walked! Sheesh!

Anyways, yesterday was just too damn wierd. We did bar work with Ratanna at SOI JET aka SOI 7. We walked up and down the street till we saw a "baby" working at the bar. We go to the bar and approached the young girl (Oh the bars here are crazy! It is like a big room filled with many different bars with no walls seperating them, so it can be quite annoying as all the bars seem to play their own music full blast!) She looked wierded out by women approaching the bar, so as soon as we order our drinks from her, she quickly ran off and got 2 "boys" to talk to Reena and I. So they started talking to us and quickly found out we are not Thai and we do not speak Thai. They don't speak English. So at the bars here in Pattaya, if both host and customer can not communicate they play board games or go to a hotel room and do the unthinkable. We kept telling Ratanna to go and talk to the little girl while Reena and I distract the boys. The young girl is 18 years old but looks like she was 14. She came from a small town in Northern Thailand to make money for her family. She was sent here by her parents to make money for the family. She has a 5 month old baby who is being looked after by her parents. It is her 10th day in Pattaya and she is really unhappy and it shows.

Ratanna told us that our "boys" are girls but we did not believe her. They look like young boys! So I asked them their name and my guy is 19 and his name is Goom, and Reena's guy is 24 and his name is Mike. So Reena and I felt at ease knowing Ratanna does not know what she is talking about. Reena was kind of sad because she wanted to pick up girls. I did too but thought it is a perfect time to try to brush up on picking up men, since all I've been doing is picking up women....STRICTLY FOR WORK NOT PLEASURE!!!!! So anyways, I started chatting it up and trying to get to know these young boys. After Ratanna finished her talk with the young girl she was just listening and watching us and kept whispering in Reena's ear that we are chatting it up with girls. We told her their names and Ratanna said most girls don't use their real names at bars! I still feel wierd thinking about last night because I swear to god they were boys! Now I feel disturbed knowing I was practicing my 'pick up' skills with young girls. Reena said they probably think I am a lesbian because I was asking them all sorts of questions like "If they have girlfriends, how old are they, what do they like to do when they don't work, etc."
That night was the priciest night and the least productive as we did not pick up any ladies. The other night Reena and I were on a high because we picked up 8 ladies. I think we work better together because Ratanna just makes us lose our flow.

Yesterday we went to visit 2 orphanages : The Pattaya Orphanage and a smaller orphanage in Northern Pattaya. The Pattaya Orphanage was so beautiful that it looked like a little resort. It was beautiful and well kept. We met with the director and I had told her that I spoke to the volunteer coordinator regarding volunteer positions. She was so rude to us and kept telling us to come back in an hour or 2 so that we can speak with the volunteer coordinator. It's as if she wanted to get rid of us. Justin said that the orphanage is more like a business and that she would have been nice to us if we said we were a part of World Vision or UNICEF. He said she probably never held a baby in her life. She was so decked out and dressed like Jackie Onasis. I didn't like the way she treated us and how cold she was. It made me feel glad to be volunteering for OPENaid. The other orphanage we visited has close ties with OPENaid. It was a more humbler orphange away from the beach resort environment. I felt like I was in a whole new world. No palm trees, just dirt roads. As soon as I stepped out of the truck, I was greeted by a little girl who was about 18 months. She had a short bob cut, with cute little bangs. She was dirty and was wearing an oversize t-shirt for adults. It looked like she was wearing a dress. The neck line was so big that half her chest was exposed. She ran up to me clasped her hands together as if praying and bowed her head. She then grabbed my leg. She barely reached my thigh. She was so cute, and I felt sad looking at her. It's like my heart sank and I felt like crying. We found out that her father was never in the picture and that her mother left her with her grandfather and he had dropped her off just last week. I wanted to bring her home with me :'(

Next week Justin will meet with the director for lunch to discuss funding as OPENaid provides funding to that orphange among other things. Reena and I will hang out at the orphange and play with the kids. I can't wait! These past few days have been tiring. It seems like the projects I have to do are pilling up faster and faster everyday! I work on designs all day and do bar work at night. It's tiring but I am having a lot of fun at the same time. OPENaid is a fairly new organization so there is a lot of work to do in terms of getting it up and running. I feel honored to be a part of the growing process and feel exited to get up every morning. I am so not a morning person so it goes to show how passionate I am about this. I feel great each day and I feel empowered! Life is beautiful and I feel blessed everday that I am here.

Top of the World!

Songs for the day : The Carpenters "Top of the World" & Mandy Moore "Top of the World"

It's been a month since I touched Thailand soil but it feels like I've been here forever! These past few days have been the most positive ever! Since I got here I've been experiencing happy moments that quickly turn into sad moments but since the beginning of the week it's been nothing but UP. Which kind of frightens me thinking what goes UP must come DOWN! I think Bangkok really did me well...I will eventually get to PART 2 of "CHERALOT + BANGKOK = LOVE" but I have been really pressed for time this past week.

It started off really great...Our office was closed Monday and Tuesday! We were kind of upset because there was a lot more things we wanted to BUY ... I mean see and do in Bangkok and Justin and the gang did not inform us until we were heading back to Pattaya Sunday night that our long weekend was extended! We had a feeling the crew was not going to be back in time because they drove 12 hours north near the LAOS border to visit Ratanna's family and meet up with other non-profit organizations. So Monday we hit the islands to work on our tans and relax from our chaotic weekend in Bangkok, but our fun at the beach quickly ended because it got colder. It looked like there was a storm coming our way. Reena and I were in denial thinking the sun will come back but then we were the only ones at the beach who did not work there and the beach staff were putting all the beach chairs and umbrellas away!
We went to the most "popular" beach on the island. It was nice but more commercialized than the other beach we had gone to previous. It was like a little Virginia Beach with the many shops along the boardwalk. Last beach we hit on the same island did not have a boardwalk or shops. The difference with this beach, was that the waves were incredible. They slapped us hard but it felt good. It was the saltiest beach I had ever tasted! I never drank so much salt water before thanks to some Chinese chick! She was such an O.A....in other words too dramatic. She was scared to go deep into the water because of the strong waves, but her boyfriend kept forcing her to go further. She kept on screaming but in such a funny way that Reena and I were over our heads with laughter that we ended up drinking the salt water every time the waves hit. It was punishment for laughing at the expense of someone's pain! Her swimming skills were so bad, we felt we had to keep our eyes on her in fear we may had to pull a BAYWATCH as the beaches here do not have lifeguards.

We finally got back to the office on Wednesday and I finally made the final touches to the OPENaid t-shirt and it was finally sent off to the printers. Earlier I had a HUGE fight with a American Express customer service rep. I had spent all my money in Bangkok! The shopping was so amazing and intense that I was willing to starve for a few days and spent EVERYTHING!!! That and I knew I could easily call American Express to reclaim my lost cheques. I wasn't prepared for a 4 day, downhill battle with them. I didn't think it would be such a B with an ITCH to reclaim my lost travelers cheques. It's sad but the only time I actually got service, was when I acted like the BIGGEST asshole on earth. Why can't we reward nice customers? Why do we only tend to the rudest people on earth?After getting the run around, on the 4th day I had to bring it, or go broke. Everyone at OPENaid was so shocked at how rude I was on the phone. They had a good laugh seeing another side of me. They also saw how bad I can be if they mess with me. You may be laughing now, but those who've seen me at my baddest can attest that I can be anyone's nightmare!

I was hoping the mean side of me would end, but later that afternoon the dark side of me came out again but this time with Ratanna. We were at the printers choosing the color and style of shirts for the OPENaid staff. I think she is so color blind. How can anyone think maroon looks good with baby blue???? She was acting like a baby and did not understand what I was trying to tell her. She said all the colors I chose made her skin look dark. I was like what's wrong with looking dark? Besides, I am a whole lot darker than she is! Anyways, in the end she didn't chose the maroon shirts, but she chose the ugliest style possible and a really lame color. So now my awesome design is ruined because of her, but it really didn't get to me because I feel like I am back. I am the graphic designer for OPENaid and I have many projects lined up ahead so I've been really busy and unable to blog or email regularly. Even though I know there is a lot of work ahead, I feel happy. It feels good to get my creative juices flowing again. I felt like I lost myself because it's been so long since I've been in the game. Now my confidence has boosted and I feel like I am the old me before I went to Japan. I feel like I am on TOP OF THE WORLD again! It's a really good feeling to finally get my swerve back. For once in a really long time, I feel really happy.

The other night was my first official night on duty for "BAR WORK". We went to SOI 7, the hardcore street with the "DO OR DIE PROSTIES". One of the programs OPENaid offers, is to try to get women off the streets and out of the sex trade. So what we have to do is go out to different bars and search for young women to befriend and try to get them out, provide counseling and teach them vocational skills as most do not have formal education. Reena spotted 2 really young looking girls. So young that Ratanna didn't think they were working, but we went up to them anyways. We started conversation and Reena and I bought drinks for the girls. They looked like they were 14 & 15 but they were 17 & 18. The 18 year old showed us a photo album of her and it was rather disturbing. It was soft pornish. I felt so awkward having to "pick up" girls, that I bought beer to loosen up my buttons, forgetting I was "on duty" and we aren't allowed to drink on the job. Bad move on my part because next thing you know I was really tipsy and acting a little too happy. Reena and I had a good laugh later because she kept nudging me to talk to "my girl". I couldn't really have a conversation with the 17 year old because her English was so bad. Anyways, those girls opened up to us fast. Both are fresh into the industry. Only 4 months. The 18 year old "Tan" became really teary. She said her parents had forced her into the sex trade to make quick cash for the family and her mother said she isn't able to come into their home unless she comes home with a lot of cash. It's like we hear stories like this all the time, but to actually put a face to the story. To see them, to hear them is really sad but it motivates us to keep doing what we are doing. I think I am getting better at handling myself. It's a big change to how I was on my first day exposed to all this. I have a better understanding about how things are here and how the people are. I used to think they are all whores who have a choice in life, but sadly enough most don't have a choice. They grow up in poverty unable to afford schooling. They can't read. They can't write. No one would hire them. So what's left? Pattaya is known in the WORLD as the city with the LARGEST sex tourism trade. We were able to get the girls to take their first step out. There is still a lot of work we have to do with them but the fact that we were able to build a connection with them got us motivated. So motivated that we wanted to keep going and search for more girls to befriend.

This past weekend we were supposed to go back to Bangkok, but our friend Heather from New York was unable to meet up with us until next weekend. So Reena and I decided to take it easy and really pamper ourselves for a really productive week (even though it was only 3 days!). We slept in until 1pm. Watched a HILARY DUFF movie "Cinderella", then had LUNDIN on a terrace over looking the beach. The view was spectacular and our food was amazing (pizza and garlic bread, ice cafe and MILLE FEUILLE!) it felt good to live the high life again. We then decided to get a much needed pedicure and a THAI MASSAGE. Let me tell you....the THAIS don't mess around when it comes to massages! We met up with our friend PHI who is our Masseuse. She is amazing. She gave me a foot massage last weekend and it was fabulous! I wanted another foot rub but we didn't want to ruin our pedicures and Reena wanted to try something new. I was kind of hesitant to try it because I saw pictures and it looked kind of scary but I thought why not try something new! Reena chose PAHN an older, tubby lady to do her. We knew she meant business when she took off her long skirt and slipped into these baby blue tights. They took us upstairs into a really dim room lined with low mattresses on the wooden floor. Each client separated by blue curtains. Reena and I asked if we can be together side by side so we can talk and experience the Thai massage together. They gave us these really funny shorts and a shirt and told us to take off everything and slip into them. When they drew up the curtains the room got even more darker that after I had undressed, I had problems looking for my shirt and shorts. Reena told them she was ready so they opened up the curtains thinking I was ready as well. Let's just say that PHI & PAHN got a little show. I was so embarrassed that I was screaming and I think HANZ (some old German guy) got annoyed for ruining the peace.

Hanz (not really his name) was near the end of his Thai massage and started making these really weird noises. I guess they are the sounds of extreme pleasure and pain. I started to crack up and so did Reena, Phi and Pahn. I was like, "Oh my god, will I be making those noises too?!!!". We started off by lying on our backs and having to spread out legs. I was so nervous because I am extremely ticklish and Phi was touching and rubbing me in places I never knew I was ticklish. So I was laughing like a maniac partly because I was ticklish and partly because I can see Pahn in her baby blue tights really man handling and rolling all over Reena and really giving it to her. They moved our bodies in positions we never thought was possible. It was really intense. What they do is initially painful, but then you feel good after. I think they made every bone in our bodies crack and stretched EVERYTHING out. Phi was telling us we will eventually get used to it the more we do it. I feel a little traumatized by the experience, especially when they were squeezing and rubbing our buttocks - but at the same time, I've never felt so good. When the massage was done, I felt so disoriented and could not stand straight that I had a hard time putting my clothes back on and Phi and Pahn got another show. I think they should charge me less for having to expose myself to them! We decided to make it a weekly thing and take advantage of it because it is only $6 for one hour. They asked if the Thai massages in Canada are the same. We said we don't know because we never had one, but all we know is that it is probably costs a helluva lot more to get one! If anyone has had one before, I would really love to know how your experience(s) was! After that we watched a horror flick SKINWALKERS (DO NOT WATCH IT! IT IS REALLY REALLY BAD!). Then we had dinner at Pizza Hut on a terrace in front of the beach. Sadly enough it was night time, so the beautiful beach during the day was lined up with older and young looking prostitutes. Not really my idea of a view!

I originally came to Thailand with the intent to volunteer at the Pattaya Orphanage. I went to the compound and I can see that the orphanage was pretty well off. They had a nice establishment and although volunteers are somewhat lacking, I can see that the funding is there. After seeing young girls selling themselves to support their families, seeing poverty left and right in Pattaya, going up North and learning more about the struggles, the killings, the unimagineable poverty, pain and suffering of the Burmese, I had a sudden change of heart. That's when I decided to volunteer with OPENaid International (http://www.openaid.org.au/) as I felt that the need was a lot more greater, and much more urgent. I believe in their cause and what they are about. "OPENAID INTERNATIONAL IS DEDICATED TO SERVING AND EMPOWERING THE COUNTLESS WOMEN TORN APART BY POVERTY, OPPRESSION, EXPLOITATION AND SEVERE SEXUAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE IN THAILAND AND BURMA". I feel that I can contribute a lot more with my skills and touch the lives of the abandoned and forgottened.